Posts Tagged ‘wedding’

Especially if its live and its being broadcasted to millions of homes, because this is what may happen.

On a special episode of the Australian NRL Footy Show, a man is brought up on stage to propose to his girlfriend of 3 years in front of a crowd of thousands and millions of viewers at home only to be DENIED!

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Its been awhile since I’ve posted anything about that skank Miley Cyrus, and I do love getting hate mail about my thoughts on her.

I still think she is the future Britney Spears, as in, shaving of hair, gunshot wedding, kids, rehab, and flashing her cunt to anyone that pays attention to her.

Girl: I love Miley Cyrus, I want to be just like her!
Mother: Sweetie, why would you do that to me? Can’t you just be a stripper instead??

Urbandictionary says the below:

A clingy whore when in comes to being an ex-girlfriend of The Jonas Brother’s Nick Jonas. She always seems to be singing too loudly for everyone’s taste. All her songs are about herself or her fabulous life as Hannah Montana. If all of your friends creepily like her music and her show on Disney Channel, you, as a friend, should be deeply disturbed. You should also feel concerned for your friend’s welfare because too much of Miley Cyrus, might turn them into Miley clones and they might start walking around like skinny little sluts with a ratty wig and bad accents. Please take caution when you listen to her music and/or watch her show.


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And….she got married!. Congrats to the happy couple!

And she is right, California has pissed off thw wrong people.

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To recite redneck wedding vows willfully and with gusto the mood must be set before time. Guests with beer cans, cigarettes, missing teeth, coon dogs, guns and wearing lots of camouflage is a must. In fact, if both the bride and groom are wearing camouflage this is a bonus.

As the bride walks down the isle, marching to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird” or “Sweet Home Alabama,” and a cardboard cutout of Jeff Foxworthy in the front row, the guests will be spitting their tobacco left and right. This is perfectly acceptable redneck etiquette.

Now, if you happen to be wondering just what redneck wedding vows are, here are few samples:

  1. I, Zeke, take you Wanda, to be my wife, to so that you clean up my beer cans and wipe the foam off my mouth when I’ve had too much to drink. Be good to my dog, and we’ll get along just fine.
  2. With this beer tab, I thee wed. Don’t nag me or take the guns from my gun rack without asking. In the Lord’s name, Amen.
  3. I take you to be my cherished partner, to go with me to all NASCAR races and to stay home and rear our batch of toothless and shoeless children. I promise to protect you using lethal force if necessary and if I’m not too drunk.
  4. As the Lord and friends today are my witness, I promise to be good to you and your gabby friends, not make you do too much housework and come back every several days even when I’m out hunting.
  5. To my kissing cousin, I thee wed, I promise not to give you the gene that will cause a bunch of high forehead children. I also promise not to get drunk on Thursdays and to bring home a possum and a coon every once in a while for dinner.

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Yeah, Ellen, wheres my invite! If the rumours are too, CONGRATULATIONS!!

LOS ANGELES — TV’s Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi reportedly will tie the knot this weekend in southern California.

Shortly after the California Supreme Court’s ruling that same sex couples have the right to marry, DeGeneres announced she planned to wed her longtime friend on a taping of her talk show in May.

“It’s something that we’ve wanted to do and we want it to be legal and we are very, very excited,” DeGeneres, 50, said.

DeGeneres told reporters backstage at the Daytime Emmy Awards in June that she and de Rossi, 35, were planning their “dream wedding.”


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Well now I work in the wedding biz, I will be sure to mention some of these to my clients!
1) On the day of a gay wedding, it’s bad luck for the two grooms to see each other at the gym.
2) Superstition suggests that, for good luck, the couple should have:Something bold, something flirty, something trashy, something dirty.
3) It’s customary, at gay and lesbian nuptials, for the parents to have an open bar during the entire ceremony.
4) Gay wedding tradition dictates that both grooms refrain from eating any of the wedding cake because it’s all carbs and sugar.
6) During the first dance, it’s considered unlucky to use glow sticks,flags, whistles or hand held lasers.
7) For good luck at the marriage of drag queens, the bouquet is always thrown in the face of a hated rival.
8) The reception hall must have a disco ball and at least one go-go dancer.
9) The wedding singer is not allowed to play/sing Let’s Hear It For the Boy,It’s Raining Men, or I Will Survive.
10) The father of the Bottom has to pay for everything!

5) It’s considered bad luck for either of the grooms to have dated the priest.

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I have found myself with a brand new exciting job! I am going to be working as a Business Developer for Pride Wedding Services here in Orange County/LA (hey I travel everywhere!) So all this thinking about wedding got me wondering about crazy wedding facts.

Princess Maria del Pozzo della Cisterno was unlikely ever to forget the day of her wedding to Amadeo, the Duke D’Aosta, son of the King of Italy, in Turin in 1867. Her wardrobe mistress hung herself; palace gatekeeper cut his throat; the colonel leading the wedding procession collapsed from sunstroke; the stationmaster was crushed to death under the wheels of the honeymoon train; the king’s aide was killed when falling from his horse; and the best man shot himself. After all that, even the cake was in tiers.

A French bride was arrested at her wedding reception in 1995 for stabbing her new husband with the knife they had just used to cut the wedding cake.

The term “best man” dates back to the times when Scotsmen kidnapped their future brides. The friend of the groom who had excelled at the abduction was acclaimed to be the best man.

All of Henry VIII’s wives were related to each other. (errrr scraping the bottom of the gene pool there don’t you think?)

So anyways there we have it!

There are no weird wedding facts in regards to gay marriages,but hey, now I’m in the biz, I can work on changing that!

For more information about gay weddings in CA, please contact check out Pride Wedding Services.

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