Posts Tagged ‘Russia’


Image having 50k+ people singing “Happy Birthday” to you.

51 and looking FABULOUS!

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I’m not even sure where to start with this one!  I guess Russian guys get pretty lonely during the winter.  What a dumb ass!  Raccoons are known to be mean and have sharp teeth.  He deserved to get the short end of the stick on this one.  I wonder if the raccoon’s name was Lorena Bobbit?

http://www.spike.com – January 26, 2009

Russian Raccoon Rape Turns Rowdy

Alaxander Kirilov got wasted with his buddies (like ya do in Russia).  And, because Russia is basically just one gigantic, Eurasian ghost town, he decided when he saw a raccoon wander into their social circle that he’d, “have a little fun.” Anybody that’s ever had sex with a raccoon can tell you what happened next. If you don’t know anybody that has, though, I’ll tell you: the raccoon bit off his dong.

No means no, man. Even when spoken in raccoon. After the incident, he was alive (but certainly not well), and his friends rushed him to the hospital.  Also, given that his erect penis was suddenly severed and his blood had been thinned with alcohol, this dude must’ve been, to quote James Bond, a “bloody mess.”

Russian plastic surgeons said they’d be able to get everything working again, but the lost inch-age was, well, lost. Here’s hoping that this dude is blessed with the curse of Rasputin, for his own sake.

Image Source: Harold Pfeiffer/Riser/Getty Images

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I’m glad that I live in the upper Midwest! I could finally have the right to marry by 2010 by being a part of Canada!

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As if Things Weren’t Bad Enough, Russian Professor Predicts End of U.S.

In Moscow, Igor Panarin’s Forecasts Are All the Rage; America ‘Disintegrates’ in 2010

MOSCOW — For a decade, Russian academic Igor Panarin has been predicting the U.S. will fall apart in 2010. For most of that time, he admits, few took his argument — that an economic and moral collapse will trigger a civil war and the eventual breakup of the U.S. — very seriously. Now he’s found an eager audience: Russian state media.

[Prof. Panarin]

Igor Panarin

In recent weeks, he’s been interviewed as much as twice a day about his predictions. “It’s a record,” says Prof. Panarin. “But I think the attention is going to grow even stronger.”

Prof. Panarin, 50 years old, is not a fringe figure. A former KGB analyst, he is dean of the Russian Foreign Ministry’s academy for future diplomats. He is invited to Kremlin receptions, lectures students, publishes books, and appears in the media as an expert on U.S.-Russia relations.

But it’s his bleak forecast for the U.S. that is music to the ears of the Kremlin, which in recent years has blamed Washington for everything from instability in the Middle East to the global financial crisis. Mr. Panarin’s views also fit neatly with the Kremlin’s narrative that Russia is returning to its rightful place on the world stage after the weakness of the 1990s, when many feared that the country would go economically and politically bankrupt and break into separate territories.

A polite and cheerful man with a buzz cut, Mr. Panarin insists he does not dislike Americans. But he warns that the outlook for them is dire.

“There’s a 55-45% chance right now that disintegration will occur,” he says. “One could rejoice in that process,” he adds, poker-faced. “But if we’re talking reasonably, it’s not the best scenario — for Russia.” Though Russia would become more powerful on the global stage, he says, its economy would suffer because it currently depends heavily on the dollar and on trade with the U.S.

Mr. Panarin posits, in brief, that mass immigration, economic decline, and moral degradation will trigger a civil war next fall and the collapse of the dollar. Around the end of June 2010, or early July, he says, the U.S. will break into six pieces — with Alaska reverting to Russian control.

In addition to increasing coverage in state media, which are tightly controlled by the Kremlin, Mr. Panarin’s ideas are now being widely discussed among local experts. He presented his theory at a recent roundtable discussion at the Foreign Ministry. The country’s top international relations school has hosted him as a keynote speaker. During an appearance on the state TV channel Rossiya, the station cut between his comments and TV footage of lines at soup kitchens and crowds of homeless people in the U.S. The professor has also been featured on the Kremlin’s English-language propaganda channel, Russia Today.

Mr. Panarin’s apocalyptic vision “reflects a very pronounced degree of anti-Americanism in Russia today,” says Vladimir Pozner, a prominent TV journalist in Russia. “It’s much stronger than it was in the Soviet Union.”

Mr. Pozner and other Russian commentators and experts on the U.S. dismiss Mr. Panarin’s predictions. “Crazy ideas are not usually discussed by serious people,” says Sergei Rogov, director of the government-run Institute for U.S. and Canadian Studies, who thinks Mr. Panarin’s theories don’t hold water.

Mr. Panarin’s résumé includes many years in the Soviet KGB, an experience shared by other top Russian officials. His office, in downtown Moscow, shows his national pride, with pennants on the wall bearing the emblem of the FSB, the KGB’s successor agency. It is also full of statuettes of eagles; a double-headed eagle was the symbol of czarist Russia.

The professor says he began his career in the KGB in 1976. In post-Soviet Russia, he got a doctorate in political science, studied U.S. economics, and worked for FAPSI, then the Russian equivalent of the U.S. National Security Agency. He says he did strategy forecasts for then-President Boris Yeltsin, adding that the details are “classified.”

In September 1998, he attended a conference in Linz, Austria, devoted to information warfare, the use of data to get an edge over a rival. It was there, in front of 400 fellow delegates, that he first presented his theory about the collapse of the U.S. in 2010.

“When I pushed the button on my computer and the map of the United States disintegrated, hundreds of people cried out in surprise,” he remembers. He says most in the audience were skeptical. “They didn’t believe me.”

At the end of the presentation, he says many delegates asked him to autograph copies of the map showing a dismembered U.S.

He based the forecast on classified data supplied to him by FAPSI analysts, he says. He predicts that economic, financial and demographic trends will provoke a political and social crisis in the U.S. When the going gets tough, he says, wealthier states will withhold funds from the federal government and effectively secede from the union. Social unrest up to and including a civil war will follow. The U.S. will then split along ethnic lines, and foreign powers will move in.

California will form the nucleus of what he calls “The Californian Republic,” and will be part of China or under Chinese influence. Texas will be the heart of “The Texas Republic,” a cluster of states that will go to Mexico or fall under Mexican influence. Washington, D.C., and New York will be part of an “Atlantic America” that may join the European Union. Canada will grab a group of Northern states Prof. Panarin calls “The Central North American Republic.” Hawaii, he suggests, will be a protectorate of Japan or China, and Alaska will be subsumed into Russia.

“It would be reasonable for Russia to lay claim to Alaska; it was part of the Russian Empire for a long time.” A framed satellite image of the Bering Strait that separates Alaska from Russia like a thread hangs from his office wall. “It’s not there for no reason,” he says with a sly grin.

Interest in his forecast revived this fall when he published an article in Izvestia, one of Russia’s biggest national dailies. In it, he reiterated his theory, called U.S. foreign debt “a pyramid scheme,” and predicted China and Russia would usurp Washington’s role as a global financial regulator.

Americans hope President-elect Barack Obama “can work miracles,” he wrote. “But when spring comes, it will be clear that there are no miracles.”

The article prompted a question about the White House’s reaction to Prof. Panarin’s forecast at a December news conference. “I’ll have to decline to comment,” spokeswoman Dana Perino said amid much laughter.

For Prof. Panarin, Ms. Perino’s response was significant. “The way the answer was phrased was an indication that my views are being listened to very carefully,” he says.

The professor says he’s convinced that people are taking his theory more seriously. People like him have forecast similar cataclysms before, he says, and been right. He cites French political scientist Emmanuel Todd. Mr. Todd is famous for having rightly forecast the demise of the Soviet Union — 15 years beforehand. “When he forecast the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1976, people laughed at him,” says Prof. Panarin.

[Igor Panarin]

Printed in The Wall Street Journal, page A1

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A “Hillraiser” for Hillary Clinton’s primary campaign has come out for John McCain. Lady Lynn Forrester de Rothschild. She’s a well-kept woman who seems intelligent and, oh, darn…what is that phrase I’m looking for?? Oh yes, FILTHY RICH! She is friends with British prime minister Tony Blair and splits her time between London and New York.

She does not like Obama. Mainly because he’s an elitist. Obviously. A woman whose London home is a 3200-acre castle would know an elitist man when she saw one!

Oh, and remember that bitter comment Obama made about people in Pennsylvania? She criticized that too. As well, she should! Just don’t criticize Obama’s use of the term “bitter” if you’re going to refer to the same people as “rednecks”.

It’s just a guess, but I’m assuming that people would rather be called “bitter” than “rednecks”, especially by a woman who wouldn’t know a pair of jeans if they slapped her in the face (hmmm….).

Hillary Clinton has not responded to this woman, nor should she. She did, however, decide not to attend a rally against Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad when she heard Sarah Palin would be there as well. When she was first invited, Mrs. Clinton didn’t think it was a political appearance and didn’t want to turn it into a tool in this election. Therefore, she changed her mind about appearing. When hearing that Hillary would not be attending, the event organizers revoked Sarah Palin’s invitation.
Not that they wanted her there in the first place. It was supposed to be a bi-partisan event, not a political stop. The Executive Director of the National Jewish Democratic Council, said his group hadn’t approved of Palin appearing at the event anyway.

But she can see Russia from her state and, and, and she’s had her passport for an entire year! She knows a thing or two about foreign policy, not like Hillary Clinton who has actually traveled to foreign countries. Psht, that doesn’t mean anything, if you can see it, you know everything about it. I saw the Dow Jones drop over 900 points in just two days, so I obviously am an expert on recessions, right? (oops, I meant a “mental” recession, because that’s all it really is, right Phil Gramm?) But I digress…

We’ve heard a lot about sexism. Even I’ve written about it, but we haven’t really heard anything explicit. Not until now. If CNN or MSNBC question someone in a manner that is not to the liking of the McCain campaign, they are automatically sexist. However, when fox news actually talks about body parts, barely anyone notices. Yes, yes, fair and balanced…I see it now.

Since when can you say “tits” on tv, but not “penises”?

Ah, what a week for women. We’ve shown just how accepting, useful, and classy we can be. Our mothers would be so proud!

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