Archive for December, 2009

To my home country, and all WTFBlog readers there, I would like to wish you a very very Happy New Year!

(video of the fireworks in London will be added when my hangover has gone and I feel like a human being again)

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And she’s back!!

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Remember y’all! Screw the economy and creating jobs, Obama is all about fucking healthcare at the moment!

The descent into homelessness can occur with terrifying speed. For Mike, a 33-year-old aspiring web developer, it happened after an emergency loan from a relative suddenly fell through, driving his family out of a motel and onto the streets of San Francisco in September.  His wife and two kids were lucky to get a bed at a shelter, but there was no room for Mike (he asked us not to disclose his last name). So he ended up spending four nights in Golden Gate Park, a sprawling urban greenscape that, while popular with tourists and locals alike during the day, can be dangerous after dark.

“I couldn’t believe it,” says the former Seattle resident. “I wasn’t technically well off, but I could keep a job, and I was thinking, ‘How the hell did I get here?'”

Just one year ago, everything seemed possible. Mike was living with his family in the pleasant beach side community of West Seattle and was in the middle of an exciting career change. After a decade of working as a chef, he was looking forward to finding a job as a web developer. To make ends meet while he was finishing up a bachelor of science degree in software engineering at Eastern Washington University, he was working for a company that did catering for private jets.

A Sobering Reality

In February, the catering company Mike worked for dramatically cut his hours. Thanks to the Great Recession, people just weren’t flying in private jets much anymore. Mike was no longer able to pay the bills and started collecting unemployment, which he viewed as a stopgap measure until he could graduate in June and get a job working for one of Seattle’s technology firms.

By the time graduation came, however, Mike was confronted with a sobering reality: “I was looking for tech jobs all over the place, but no one would hire a guy fresh out of college,” he says. “I was even looking for restaurant jobs, but restaurants had all cut back as no one was going out to eat.”

Mike and his family decided to make a bold, if risky, move. In the beginning of September, they scraped together what little money they had left and relocated to the San Francisco Bay area, the nation’s tech mecca, where Mike was certain he would find a job. For weeks, the family stayed in cheap hotel rooms booked on Priceline.com while Mike looked for work, cold-calling recruiters and sending out resumes.

The Money Dries Up

Toward the end of September, the unemployment money that was supposed to last them through the entire month ran out. Making matters worse, a relative who’d promised to give them a loan changed her mind at the last minute. Their only option was to try to get beds in one of San Francisco’s shelters, already maxed-out with all of the other newly homeless looking for places to sleep.

Mike and his family ended up at Hamilton Family Center, one of the largest providers of homeless shelter and support services in San Francisco. San Francisco has the highest per capita rate of homelessness — nearly 1 for every 100 residents — of any major U.S. city, and Hamilton and other nonprofit agencies like it have their work cut out for them. Even more disturbing is that homelessness is increasingly a family affair here. As many as 40% of homeless people in San Francisco are part of a homeless family.

“It’s organizations like ours that are the last safety nets for this community,” says Hamilton’s Executive Director Beth Stokes, adding that funding cuts are leaving this net increasingly frayed. “We’re all worried about what’s going to happen next year.”

According to Mike, Hamilton only had enough space for his wife and their children, ages 6 and 4. That’s when he headed to Golden Gate Park.

Finding a ‘Private Bush’

“I found a little private bush and made sure nobody saw me,” Mike says. “I chose a part that wasn’t very popular since I know there are areas where the homeless like to congregate.”

After four nights sleeping outside, another unemployment check came through. The money allowed Mike and his family to move back into a cheap motel in early November. A few weeks later, they finally caught a break. Thanks to money made available through the federal economic stimulus program, Hamilton was able to enroll the family in its First Avenues program, which helps families keep or find homes, depending on their situation. Since it started in 2006, First Avenues has prevented 375 families from getting evicted and helped another 500 homeless families get permanent housing.

Through the program, which will last 18 months, the family has received money for a deposit on an apartment in Oakland, Calif., as well as assistance paying the $875 rent. Mike says the neighborhood is much grittier than their old community in Seattle, but he’s grateful for the roof over his family’s head.

“It’s a really nice unit,” he says. “The kids are less stressed out.”

Staying Positive

The one-year anniversary of Mike’s unemployment is approaching in February. He is trying to stay positive, but sometimes it’s hard to remain upbeat. He’s sent out more than 75 resumes for tech and cooking jobs and has gone on a few interviews. One potential tech employer told him that he didn’t have enough experience. A recruiter at another firm said he would like to hire him, but would wait to see if he had the money to do so in next year’s budget.

If that’s not overwhelming enough, their eligibility for food stamps was cut when they moved to Oakland. Mike says nobody ever told them they would have to reapply. To boot, their car died, making it harder to get over to the county office to drop off the application.

Mike finds what little solace he can in the kind gestures of others — the landlord back up in Seattle who’s letting them pay off their last month’s rent owed bit-by-bit at $25 a month, or the folks at the First Avenues program, who helped them get their apartment. “They’ve been really nice,” he says.

To find out how you can help
Hamilton Family Center help San Francisco’s least fortunate, please visit its website.

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And Thank you Italy, because this is seriously fucking awesome!

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Rumor has it, Jesus Luz, Madonna’s current Brazilian boy toy, is rocking an uncut member, Shia LaBeouf confessed to Playboy that he isn’t well-endowed, and Jared Leto reportedly has the biggest (living) dong in Hollywood. After the jump, celebs dish on the packages they were given or were happy/unhappy to receive.

“I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie. It put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move.” —Shia LaBeouf in Playboy

“I said I had a small penis as a joke. And they took it literally when it is not the truth. So when people find out it’s not the case they are pleasantly surprised.” —Enrique Iglesias

“I’m proud to see his penis 25 foot tall. It’s great. It’s huge. It’s enormous. Massive. If I looked like that I’d walk down the street in my panties too.”—Victoria Beckham on David Beckham‘s penis

“I had a penis implant!” —Robert Pattinson on his nude scenes for “Little Ashes”

“I know the reason that it was cut out was that it just wasn’t right. If anything, it’s a beautiful, gentle moment and a f**king large c**k with huge balls, is just f**king jarring.” —Colin Farrell on why his nude scene was cut out of “Alexander”

“I love Ewan McGregor. He’s got a beautiful penis! I’m like: ‘Yeah, man, uncircumcised!’ That’s nice.” —Rosario Dawson

““I’m not worried about how small my penis is — I’m worried about how dark it is. I have a Dominican penis. My penis hit six home runs last year; my penis wears shoes without socks.” —John Mayer

“I’m not a real big fan of penises. Like my own, whenever I look at it, I just don’t find anything attractive about it. I can’t believe girls are into it. It blows my mind a little bit.” —Pete Wentz

“He’s not very well-endowed. If you’re going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work.” —Kim Mathers on her ex, Eminem

“I’ve been a porn actress for three years and Jared was the most I ever had to work with. There’s definitely a second career available for him if he ever runs out of mainstream work.” —Corina Taylor on having sex with Jared Leto

“I helped raise him and I can assure you there is nothing wrong with him physically.” —Sadie Bomar on grandson Justin TImberlake‘s penis after Britney Spears insinuated he had a small member.

“It looks like an egg in a nest. This girl once said to me, ‘Who are you going to satisfy with that little thing?’ I said, ‘Me!’” —Johnny Knoxville

“Nick’s small package was a problem sometimes, like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn’t really feel much, I faked the whole thing, I really felt sorry for him, I still loved him though.” —Jessica Simpson on her ex-husband, Nick Lachey

“You tighten up like a hamster. The first time it happened, I turned around and went, ‘You know, there’s a thousand people here and I don’t think even one of them would expect you to look your best in this situation.’ I am terribly self-conscious.” —Daniel Radcliffe on appearing nude onstage

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Wow, 2009 is nearly over and what a year it has been, WTFBLOG went from being a lil known blog to getting mentioned on several hundred sites all around the world (not sure how the hell that happened, but I’m not complaining!!)

Anyways, I would like to take this lil opportunity to wish you all an awesome Christmas, I hope Santa brings everyone of you naughty bitches what you want, and if he doesn’t… sue his ass!

And my lil gift to you, well this has, for many many years being my favorite Christmas song, I actually think it is every British persons favorite xmas song (oh and the Irish too!), and I just happened to find an acoustic version by Sharon Corr (Of The Corrs) and Joe Echo..

To be in a pub in the UK on Christmas Eve, snow falling outside, a beer in your hand and everyone dancing to this, is truly awesome.

Anyways, hope you enjoy this version.

Before I forget, Maggie Gallagher, President of The National Organization For Marriage, you…you nasty whore, can suck my dick.

Happy Christmas readers!

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It takes a lot to get my undivided attention, but the below woman clearly has it, and I am sure the Republicans will be touting her for Presidency now.

HONOLULU — A woman accused of telling the Secret Service she would “blow away” Michelle Obama was in federal custody Tuesday as the Obama family planned to travel to Hawaii.

Kristy Lee Roshia, 35, was charged with threatening a family member of the president and assaulting a federal agent after being arrested Saturday less than two miles from the Kailua home where the Obama family planned to

This bitch be crazy y'all!

stay during a holiday visit later this week.

Roshia called the Secret Service’s Boston office last month and told a receptionist, “I will kill Michelle Obama” and “I will kill Marines,” according to a Secret Service affidavit.

During the same call, she said she would “blow away” Michelle Obama, the document states.

A message left at the federal public defender’s office in Honolulu was not immediately returned.

Roshia has a history of leaving rambling messages and sending poems, love letters and photographs of herself to the Secret Service, according to the affidavit.

As early as 2004, she told the agency that “although her mission is to assassinate the president, she has no desire to hurt him,” the document states.

The affidavit said Roshia acknowledged to Secret Service agents before her arrest that she had threatened Michelle Obama.

It also says Roshia said she knew where Obama would be staying in Hawaii, and the reason she had traveled to Hawaii in September was “to protect Obama.”

Roshia was also charged with lunging at a Secret Service agent, striking him in the arms and face during her arrest.

She was being held without bail pending a Wednesday detention hearing.


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