Have you ever gone out all night with the intention to party with friends and get balls to walls madness shit-faced drunk? Or white boy wasted, as the song says on MTV?
I have, and let me tell you it’s not always a fun thing the next morning, now I know what you are thing “oh Moussie, did you have a coyote ugly moment”, well the answer is NO!!! I didn’t. Though waking up the next morning I wish that I did. The night was a constant blur of club after club, and slags were everywhere, on the floor, on the wall, on my crotch. Major slagfest. Sounds good right? WRONG!!!
I met this one guy and he was of a hulking manner, I thought nothing of it and went home with him. At this point I’m having milkd black outs and I vaguely remember him putting on what appeared to be a red track suit and a cottony beard. Then I blacked out. When I came to I had a brown costume on and hooves. Then I blacked out again, and then I distinctly remember hearing him say “Santa’s gonna take you to his north pole, anyways cut to me the next morning handcuffed to a radiator with a sore ass, and a nasty flavor in my mouth, makes me think of GaGa when she sings “I want your whiskey mouth, all over my blond south”.
The one thing that surprises me most is I remember him smacking my ass and yelling “STUPID DEER, DEER DON’T TALK!!!” Ever since then I’ve always had a nervous twitch whenever I see the Macy’s store Santa