WTF – Happy New Year ENGLAND!!!

To my home country, and all WTFBlog readers there, I would like to wish you a very very Happy New Year!

(video of the fireworks in London will be added when my hangover has gone and I feel like a human being again)

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WTF – Avatar Makeup Tutorial!

And she’s back!!

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WTF – Are Those Rocks Beneath My Head!

Remember y’all! Screw the economy and creating jobs, Obama is all about fucking healthcare at the moment!

The descent into homelessness can occur with terrifying speed. For Mike, a 33-year-old aspiring web developer, it happened after an emergency loan from a relative suddenly fell through, driving his family out of a motel and onto the streets of San Francisco in September.  His wife and two kids were lucky to get a bed at a shelter, but there was no room for Mike (he asked us not to disclose his last name). So he ended up spending four nights in Golden Gate Park, a sprawling urban greenscape that, while popular with tourists and locals alike during the day, can be dangerous after dark.

“I couldn’t believe it,” says the former Seattle resident. “I wasn’t technically well off, but I could keep a job, and I was thinking, ‘How the hell did I get here?’”

Just one year ago, everything seemed possible. Mike was living with his family in the pleasant beach side community of West Seattle and was in the middle of an exciting career change. After a decade of working as a chef, he was looking forward to finding a job as a web developer. To make ends meet while he was finishing up a bachelor of science degree in software engineering at Eastern Washington University, he was working for a company that did catering for private jets.

A Sobering Reality

In February, the catering company Mike worked for dramatically cut his hours. Thanks to the Great Recession, people just weren’t flying in private jets much anymore. Mike was no longer able to pay the bills and started collecting unemployment, which he viewed as a stopgap measure until he could graduate in June and get a job working for one of Seattle’s technology firms.

By the time graduation came, however, Mike was confronted with a sobering reality: “I was looking for tech jobs all over the place, but no one would hire a guy fresh out of college,” he says. “I was even looking for restaurant jobs, but restaurants had all cut back as no one was going out to eat.”

Mike and his family decided to make a bold, if risky, move. In the beginning of September, they scraped together what little money they had left and relocated to the San Francisco Bay area, the nation’s tech mecca, where Mike was certain he would find a job. For weeks, the family stayed in cheap hotel rooms booked on Priceline.com while Mike looked for work, cold-calling recruiters and sending out resumes.

The Money Dries Up

Toward the end of September, the unemployment money that was supposed to last them through the entire month ran out. Making matters worse, a relative who’d promised to give them a loan changed her mind at the last minute. Their only option was to try to get beds in one of San Francisco’s shelters, already maxed-out with all of the other newly homeless looking for places to sleep.

Mike and his family ended up at Hamilton Family Center, one of the largest providers of homeless shelter and support services in San Francisco. San Francisco has the highest per capita rate of homelessness — nearly 1 for every 100 residents — of any major U.S. city, and Hamilton and other nonprofit agencies like it have their work cut out for them. Even more disturbing is that homelessness is increasingly a family affair here. As many as 40% of homeless people in San Francisco are part of a homeless family.

“It’s organizations like ours that are the last safety nets for this community,” says Hamilton’s Executive Director Beth Stokes, adding that funding cuts are leaving this net increasingly frayed. “We’re all worried about what’s going to happen next year.”

According to Mike, Hamilton only had enough space for his wife and their children, ages 6 and 4. That’s when he headed to Golden Gate Park.

Finding a ‘Private Bush’

“I found a little private bush and made sure nobody saw me,” Mike says. “I chose a part that wasn’t very popular since I know there are areas where the homeless like to congregate.”

After four nights sleeping outside, another unemployment check came through. The money allowed Mike and his family to move back into a cheap motel in early November. A few weeks later, they finally caught a break. Thanks to money made available through the federal economic stimulus program, Hamilton was able to enroll the family in its First Avenues program, which helps families keep or find homes, depending on their situation. Since it started in 2006, First Avenues has prevented 375 families from getting evicted and helped another 500 homeless families get permanent housing.

Through the program, which will last 18 months, the family has received money for a deposit on an apartment in Oakland, Calif., as well as assistance paying the $875 rent. Mike says the neighborhood is much grittier than their old community in Seattle, but he’s grateful for the roof over his family’s head.

“It’s a really nice unit,” he says. “The kids are less stressed out.”

Staying Positive

The one-year anniversary of Mike’s unemployment is approaching in February. He is trying to stay positive, but sometimes it’s hard to remain upbeat. He’s sent out more than 75 resumes for tech and cooking jobs and has gone on a few interviews. One potential tech employer told him that he didn’t have enough experience. A recruiter at another firm said he would like to hire him, but would wait to see if he had the money to do so in next year’s budget.

If that’s not overwhelming enough, their eligibility for food stamps was cut when they moved to Oakland. Mike says nobody ever told them they would have to reapply. To boot, their car died, making it harder to get over to the county office to drop off the application.

Mike finds what little solace he can in the kind gestures of others — the landlord back up in Seattle who’s letting them pay off their last month’s rent owed bit-by-bit at $25 a month, or the folks at the First Avenues program, who helped them get their apartment. “They’ve been really nice,” he says.

To find out how you can help Hamilton Family Center help San Francisco’s least fortunate, please visit its website.

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WTF – Glee FlashMob Hits Roma!

And Thank you Italy, because this is seriously fucking awesome!

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WTF – Celeb Penis Quotes!

Rumor has it, Jesus Luz, Madonna’s current Brazilian boy toy, is rocking an uncut member, Shia LaBeouf confessed to Playboy that he isn’t well-endowed, and Jared Leto reportedly has the biggest (living) dong in Hollywood. After the jump, celebs dish on the packages they were given or were happy/unhappy to receive.

“I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie. It put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move.” —Shia LaBeouf in Playboy

“I said I had a small penis as a joke. And they took it literally when it is not the truth. So when people find out it’s not the case they are pleasantly surprised.” —Enrique Iglesias

“I’m proud to see his penis 25 foot tall. It’s great. It’s huge. It’s enormous. Massive. If I looked like that I’d walk down the street in my panties too.”—Victoria Beckham on David Beckham‘s penis

“I had a penis implant!” —Robert Pattinson on his nude scenes for “Little Ashes”

“I know the reason that it was cut out was that it just wasn’t right. If anything, it’s a beautiful, gentle moment and a f**king large c**k with huge balls, is just f**king jarring.” —Colin Farrell on why his nude scene was cut out of “Alexander”

“I love Ewan McGregor. He’s got a beautiful penis! I’m like: ‘Yeah, man, uncircumcised!’ That’s nice.” —Rosario Dawson

““I’m not worried about how small my penis is — I’m worried about how dark it is. I have a Dominican penis. My penis hit six home runs last year; my penis wears shoes without socks.” —John Mayer

“I’m not a real big fan of penises. Like my own, whenever I look at it, I just don’t find anything attractive about it. I can’t believe girls are into it. It blows my mind a little bit.” —Pete Wentz

“He’s not very well-endowed. If you’re going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work.” —Kim Mathers on her ex, Eminem

“I’ve been a porn actress for three years and Jared was the most I ever had to work with. There’s definitely a second career available for him if he ever runs out of mainstream work.” —Corina Taylor on having sex with Jared Leto

“I helped raise him and I can assure you there is nothing wrong with him physically.” —Sadie Bomar on grandson Justin TImberlake‘s penis after Britney Spears insinuated he had a small member.

“It looks like an egg in a nest. This girl once said to me, ‘Who are you going to satisfy with that little thing?’ I said, ‘Me!’” —Johnny Knoxville

“Nick’s small package was a problem sometimes, like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn’t really feel much, I faked the whole thing, I really felt sorry for him, I still loved him though.” —Jessica Simpson on her ex-husband, Nick Lachey

“You tighten up like a hamster. The first time it happened, I turned around and went, ‘You know, there’s a thousand people here and I don’t think even one of them would expect you to look your best in this situation.’ I am terribly self-conscious.” —Daniel Radcliffe on appearing nude onstage

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WTF – Fairytale Of New York/Happy Christmas/Maggie Gallagher Can Suck My Dick!

Wow, 2009 is nearly over and what a year it has been, WTFBLOG went from being a lil known blog to getting mentioned on several hundred sites all around the world (not sure how the hell that happened, but I’m not complaining!!)

Anyways, I would like to take this lil opportunity to wish you all an awesome Christmas, I hope Santa brings everyone of you naughty bitches what you want, and if he doesn’t… sue his ass!

And my lil gift to you, well this has, for many many years being my favorite Christmas song, I actually think it is every British persons favorite xmas song (oh and the Irish too!), and I just happened to find an acoustic version by Sharon Corr (Of The Corrs) and Joe Echo..

To be in a pub in the UK on Christmas Eve, snow falling outside, a beer in your hand and everyone dancing to this, is truly awesome.

Anyways, hope you enjoy this version.

Before I forget, Maggie Gallagher, President of The National Organization For Marriage, you…you nasty whore, can suck my dick.

Happy Christmas readers!

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WTF – This Bitch Be Crazy!

It takes a lot to get my undivided attention, but the below woman clearly has it, and I am sure the Republicans will be touting her for Presidency now.

HONOLULU — A woman accused of telling the Secret Service she would “blow away” Michelle Obama was in federal custody Tuesday as the Obama family planned to travel to Hawaii.

Kristy Lee Roshia, 35, was charged with threatening a family member of the president and assaulting a federal agent after being arrested Saturday less than two miles from the Kailua home where the Obama family planned to

This bitch be crazy y'all!

stay during a holiday visit later this week.

Roshia called the Secret Service’s Boston office last month and told a receptionist, “I will kill Michelle Obama” and “I will kill Marines,” according to a Secret Service affidavit.

During the same call, she said she would “blow away” Michelle Obama, the document states.

A message left at the federal public defender’s office in Honolulu was not immediately returned.

Roshia has a history of leaving rambling messages and sending poems, love letters and photographs of herself to the Secret Service, according to the affidavit.

As early as 2004, she told the agency that “although her mission is to assassinate the president, she has no desire to hurt him,” the document states.

The affidavit said Roshia acknowledged to Secret Service agents before her arrest that she had threatened Michelle Obama.

It also says Roshia said she knew where Obama would be staying in Hawaii, and the reason she had traveled to Hawaii in September was “to protect Obama.”

Roshia was also charged with lunging at a Secret Service agent, striking him in the arms and face during her arrest.

She was being held without bail pending a Wednesday detention hearing.

Source

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WTF – Priest: Thou Shalt Not Steal (unless it’s from big business)!

Now, I thought the city where I was born and raised…hadn’t “caught the crazy”, but it appears it arrived….and well, I am impressed! (thanks to the hubby for finding this news story!)

A UK priest has defended his comments that it is acceptable to steal from large companies.

Tim Jones, parish priest of St Lawrence and St Hilda, told his congregation in York, northern England: “My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift.”

Jones, who according to the church Web site previously worked in Corinth, Mississippi, made his comments about what he regarded as acceptable behavior by those in need when they were desperate.

In a transcript of his sermon published in the local newspaper, “The Press,” Jones said: “I do not offer such advice because I think that stealing is a good thing, or because I think it is harmless, for it is neither.

“I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices.”

Jones told CNN affiliate ITN Monday that his advice was directed at those with nothing and who had exhausted all other legal avenues to survive, such as state benefits.

While it was never right to shoplift, Jones said, it was the most acceptable alternative for those in desperate need compared with prostitution, burglary or other criminal offenses.

The Web site for St Hilda’s states that Jones has served as a prison chaplain and that his interests include international justice and fair trade issues.

“I would say to those people that are outraged: Compare how much you are spending on yourself this Christmas compared to how much you have given to people in desperate situations,” Jones told ITN.

In his sermon Sunday Jones called on anyone planning to steal not to take more than they need for longer than they need, saying that he offered his advice with a heavy heart. He added that his advocacy of shoplifting was a “grim indictment” of society and a plea for help for the most vulnerable.

But Jones’ church bosses failed to back his call. In a statement on the Web site for the Diocese of York Tuesday, Richard Seed, Archdeacon of York said: “The Church of England does not advise anyone to shoplift, or break the law in any way.

“Fr Tim Jones is raising important issues about the difficulties people face when benefits are not forthcoming, but shoplifting is not the way to overcome these difficulties.

“There are many organizations and charities working with people in need, and the Citizens’ Advice Bureau is a good first place to call.”

Source

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WTF – Man Chews Tenants Nutsack During Fight!

Oh my! this is just the kind of news we like to read about with our breakfast, right?

A well-known organizer of the ruling National Democratic Congress (NDC) at Somanya in the Eastern region, Kwame Wayo Acheampong, has found himself in the grips of the law after pouncing on his tenant and chewing part of his scrotum in a fierce fight last Thursday.

Baring his teeth like a vampire hungry for blood, Kwame Wayo, 45, went straight for the genitals of 37-year-old Sani Sulley, a tenant in his house, and took a ginormous bite at this important “property”, tearing half of it and leaving his victim in a pool of blood.

The wife of Sulley was so mad about the attack she told DAILY GUIDE she was very determined to see to it that Kwame Acheampong was punished for what she described as ‘cannibalistic behaviour’.

Both Sulley Sani and Kwame Wayo Acheampong were butchers at Somanya but Wayo was a landlord to Sulley in a suburb of the town. DAILY GUIDE sources disclosed that the friends-turned-enemies had lived in the same house for the past two years but in the last three or four months, Acheampong had been insisting that Sulley left the house because he was giving him problems.

Sulley was said to have reacted by saying that he would leave the house only if his landlord refunded a balance of GH¢600 as part of the total cost of GH¢900 he incurred in making the house habitable.

When DAILY GUIDE contacted the victim, he readily offered to tell his side of the story. According to him, he rented a chamber and hall apartment in Acheampong’s house because both of them were working at the same slaughter house; but at the time of moving into the house, it was not fully complete, so he had to hire some artisans to plaster a greater part of the house including his room, install ceilings and extend electricity to the house which cost him GH¢900.

He indicated that the agreement was that he would pay a rent of GH¢10 a month to offset the cost incurred. Sulley told the paper that all of a sudden, Kwame Wayo decided to eject him from the house after he had stayed there for only two years. “What I told him was that if he is asking me to leave the house, then he should pay my balance of GH¢600 Ghana before I leave but this has become a problem for him”.

He explained that because of the condition given him, the landlord decided to use ‘rough tactics’ to frustrate or force him out of the house.

He told DAILY GUIDE that things came to a head on Thursday December 11 after his wife, Rukaya, had finished preparing ‘fufu’ for the family. According to him, the wife of the landlord, Agnes Wayo, though unprovoked, went to where the food had been prepared and swept dust and sand into it. The victim said they then reported the matter to the police, with the food as exhibit.

“After we came home, my landlord told me that that was the beginning of greater punishment for us and that he had instructed the wife that next time she should ease herself into our food and also in front of my room”.

According to Sulley, around 8.00pm in the night, he asked his nine-year-old son to remove his school uniform from the drying line in the veranda, but before he could do that, he had to step on a little wall that served as a break to rain water in the house.

He narrated that just as his son stepped on the wall, the landlord came from nowhere and gave him a hefty slap for ‘standing on his wall’.

“This action by the landlord infuriated me so much that I immediately confronted him as to why he should slap such a little boy”, adding that before he could say jack, the landlord grabbed his “balls” and took a ‘mighty’ bite.

He disclosed that the landlord had said he was going to kill him. “I felt terrible pains and I had to scream for help. I was wearing P.E. shorts and everything turned bloody. I was rushed to the Atua Government Hospital and sent straight to the theatre for some stitches and immediate attention.

“As I speak to you, I feel serious pain in my abdomen and I am very weak”. Wayo is expected to be put before the Odumase-Krobo Circuit Court today after he was arrested and charged with the offence of causing harm.

He told the police that he slapped the little boy because the boy crossed his path while he bit Sulley’s “balls” in defence because Sulley attacked him and held him by the neck.

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WTF – Best Halloween Costume Ever!

Ok ok, I know Halloween was like months ago, but itsn’t the below the most original and simple costume in existence?

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